Candlelight – Chapter One – Homecoming

It had been awhile since Mike Kerls had been home to Candlelight.  He had gone to college at Truman State University in Kirksville, Missouri studying and receiving a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration.  He had been traveling around the country as a break from it all when he received the call that led him to this familiar two-lane road that was lined with trees providing shade to the pavement.  His father had died, and he now was one of the owners of Kerls’ Gas Station and Mini-mart.  His mother was going to meet him there.  His thoughts were mixed as he drove.  He was excited about running his own business but uneasy about returning to Candlelight.  A memorial service for his father was planned for the next day and the thought of losing his father weighed on his mind.

  His father was a kind man, so is his Mom.  They raised him to be nice to everyone and as he grew up, he found that it was not always easy to do.  He was smart and clever and that did not always mix well with his peers.  Except for one person.  He found that he was comfortable around Louise, Lou Barber.  He knew her most, if not all, of his life.  Their parents hung out together and because of that, he saw her a lot.  Mike knew of her parents’ accident and had sent flowers but could not bring himself to attend their memorial service.  He did not know why he couldn’t or wouldn’t return for it.  For some reason he thought it might be uncomfortable for Lou.  He wondered if she was still in Candlelight and might be at the service for his father.

  He entered town and he immediately looked at the store looking for his mother.  On the door a sign was posted stating “Closed – For A While”.  He smiled to himself and thought, typical Mom.  At the next intersection, he turned right and at the first house on the right, he turned into the driveway of the home he was raised in.  The house was two stories and as he exited his car, he habitually looked up to the window at the top.  It was his bedroom.  He returned his attention to the front and found his mother looking at him through the glass of the storm door.  He smiled at her and half waved, and she did the same in return.  He started up the walkway and stepped up the three steps to the porch and she stepped out to meet him.  For a moment, they just looked at each other then she started to cry, and he embraced her in a tight hug.  They stood that way for a few minutes then she released him and stepped back.

  “You look good honey.  I am sorry to cut your trip short,” she whispered as the tears started to come.

  “Shhh, Mom, it is okay,” Mike tried to assure her.  “Let’s go inside and talk.”

  He opened the door and guided her inside.  They passed the living room which is in the very front of the house and walked to warmest room in the house, the kitchen.  It was here they really lived in; where they talked, where he did homework, where they laughed.  He led her to the small kitchen table that was just big enough for the three of them.  Now there is only two and together they sat and looked at each other.  Samantha looked at her son and the tears were starting to well in her eyes.

  “I wish you were with me when I found him.”

  “Found him, Mom?” Mike reached out for her hand.

  “He went to the store first, as usual, to open it like always.  I went in a little later because I was going to go to the bank with the deposit, you know.  The lights were on and I found him behind the counter on the floor.  I called 911 and they came and said he was gone.  The hospital confirmed that it was a heart attack.  A heart attack!  Michael ate right and he didn’t smoke, and he had a heart attack.”

  Mike was silent.  He let his Mom cry as he never let go of her hand.  He could not  believe it either.  His dad was happy and loved, well, life.  He stood and hugged his Mom.  She smiled up at him.  He smiled back and left her in her chair.

  He headed outside to his car to retrieve his belongings.  He grabbed his suitcase and returned to the house.  When he came in, he first looked in at his Mom and found her still sitting in her chair, staring straight ahead as silent tears traveled down her cheeks, dripping quietly on her shoulders.  Mike sighed.  He went up the stairs and headed to the bedroom he had known as home.

  As Mike entered the room it seemed he was going back to high school.  His full-size bed was centered beneath the window and it was still covered with the green striped quilt his grandmother had made with her quilting group.  A tall, brown dresser stood to his left beneath a mirror.  A comb was embedded into a long, short-haired brush rested on top, just as it was when he went off to college.  He threw the suitcase on the bed, opened it, and grabbed some items from it and filled the dresser with his clothes.  He turned behind him, went to the small closet, and opened the closed door.  Inside he found some old clothes still there including his letter jacket. He pushed them to the side and hung a few shirts.  Returning to the suitcase, he grabbed his travel kit, leaving the room, and turned left to head to the room at the end of the hall. 

  He pushed open the bathroom door that was always his as his parents lived downstairs.  Instantly, he was staring at himself.  His blues eyes were wide in surprise and he did not know why.  Settling down, he looked at those eyes a bit closer.  Dark circles had formed below them, and he realized he was tired.  He ran his hand through his dirty blond hair.  An unintentional stubble had appeared on his face.  He smiled and his reflection smiled back.

  He opened the mirror to reveal any contents that were hidden in the medicine cabinet on the other side of it.  His eyes are drawn to a ceramic shaving cup, covered, with a wooden handled brush lying beside it.  It was his dad’s.  He paused on a memory.  His dad was using that brush, lathering up the soap bar within in that ceramic cup, and then rubbing the brush over his chin and up the side of his face.  He remembered his dad noticing him at that moment in the mirror, turned around and smiled at him.  He asked, “Want a shave?”  Mike smiled at the memory and left the shaving cup and brush exactly where they sat.  He filled the otherwise empty shelves with items from his travel kit.

  After Mike had emptied his car, filled his room, shaved, and took a shower, he returned to the first floor of the home to check on his Mom.  He heard people talking in the living room.  As he entered the room, a man who had been sitting next to his Mom stood to face him.  He smiled at Mike and offered his right hand toward him.  Mike hesitated when the man introduced himself, “I am Pastor Brown, the minister of the Methodist Church.  I will be leading the memorial service tonight.”

  “Oh,” Mike began as he shook the man’s hand.  “I’m sorry.  Please sit.  I’m Mike, Michael Jr.”

  “We were just talking about the service, Mike,” his Mother started to explain.

  “Of course, Mom.  I get it.  What can I do?”

  “That is exactly what I was asking Suzanne,” Pastor Brown interjected.  “What would you like to do?”

  “Her name is Samantha,” Mike said.

  “Pardon?” the Pastor questioned.

  “My mom’s name is Samantha,” Mike repeated.

  “Of course it is,” the Pastor stated. “What did I say?”

  “Suzanne.”

  “I did? I am terribly sorry,” Pastor Brown stammered as turned toward Samantha,  “I am so terribly sorry.  I know your name, I truly do.”

  “I know, Pastor.  It is all right.  Please go on.”  Samantha implored him to sit down with her eyes.  He followed her gaze and sat down.

 “We want a simple service,” she reminded everyone.  Mike was amazed at the way his Mother always remained calm even in awkward situations.

  The Memorial service was simple and seemed to go by quickly, at least Mike thought so.  Pastor Brown spoke well of his father and that was good, but it was missing something.  It was just an ok service.  There were a lot of people he knew and Louise was in attendance.  A line of people snaked around the room where rows of chairs stood in the center.  Side by side, his uncles Billy and Matthew stood by their sister-in-law, his Mother greeted each mourner and thanked them for attending the service.  Mike had left his mother’s side and stood at the back of the room staring at the casket where his silent father was lying.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” a quiet voice interrupted his reverie.  It is Lou.

  “Hi,” he smiled, and she smiles back at him.  He looked at her closely and it seems like high school all over again.  The light blue eyes looked up at him.  Her dark hair, still shoulder length in long, soft curls but it was now parted on the side and fell above her right eye and behind her shoulder.  The smile was simple with a small dimple creased below the same eye.  He hugged her.  “Thanks for coming.  I didn’t know if you would or not.”

  She paused before responding, examining his face.  “I love your Mom and your dad.”

  Mike nodded in understanding.  Their families had a special bond. 

  “I’m sorry I didn’t do the same,” Mike acknowledged his bad decision.

  “Lucky for you, I am the forgiving type,” she informed him as she reached for his hand.  “Let’s take a walk.”

  Mike went with her and they went out the front door.  They stepped down the steps and turned left, still holding hands.  As they followed the sidewalk, a cold gust of wind reminded them it was November.  She let go of his hand and instead inserted her arm within his so that they were closer together.  The pace they were walking slowed as they came to the Candle Factory and Mike decided to break the silence.

  “So, Lou, how have you been?”

  “Sad,” she sighed.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You will understand soon or maybe not.  You still have your Mom. I am all alone and I miss my parents.  You know the other thing is, I’ve had to change me, too.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Mike hated that he was being redundant.

  “Well,” Lou began to explain. “My dream was to leave this place and go to St. Louis.  I like that city.  It is quiet and has the arch.”

  “The arch, huh?   I have been there.  I rode up the small, five seat elevator to the top and looked out those windows.”

  “Me, too.  The great Mississippi river on one side and the city on the other.  I liked to see Busch Stadium and that Courthouse.”

  “You were always a Cardinal fan and not a Royals fan,” Mike smirked.

  “True, true,” she laughed. “But what I really am is a zoo fan.  St. Louis has a great zoo, you know.  I just earned a degree in Husbandry to work in a zoo.  But that is just a dream now.  Poof,  now I inherit a bakery I really do not like.  Mom and dad did but not me.  But here I am.” 

  Louise stopped walking and Mike was not sure what to say but he tried anyway.  “I am sorry.  I am sure it will get better.”

  Lou looked at him for a moment and stepped up to him, kissed his cheek, turned, and walked away.

  Mike watched her turn the corner and returned to the mortuary.  He found his Mom in the break room. He approached her and gave her a hug.

  “I am glad he is going to be cremated,” she said. “I couldn’t stand a graveside thing.”

  Mike held her tighter.

  “Listen, Mike,” she said as sat in a nearby chair and he continued to stand. “I decided to go with Billy and his family to visit for a while.  I am sorry but I need a break.  The house, the station, I see him everywhere.”

  She started to cry.  Mike knelt beside her to hold her.

  “Sure, Mom,” he whispered. “I will take care of everything and I am happy to do it.”

To be continued…